one from the past


if only you had known the volume of tears
i cried in that solitude where only God hears
like a coward in battle, hiding year after year
could it have been caused by an absence in me of fear
perhaps an abundance, yes, that deposited me here
would it have mattered, or might it  still be unclear
shaking and rattling like a broken brass gear
completely diminished, a fool, cavalier
like an abandoned old lighthouse whose beacon disappears
trying to find where the rocks be has left me drowning  in arrears
reflecting on past moments my life lessons appear 
as visions of headlights that froze that young deer
all the while casts a long shadow on the children so near
i would rather they stay innocent, so precious, so dear
nothing left when i look, nothing at all when i peer
the band plays all the old hits, and…

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