Parkchester Little League Part One

My first day of School, not Little League
 My introduction to baseball and little league began at a very early age. I’m thinking six or seven is when I joined what was called the pee wee’s. Games took place in the North Ball Field and I became very famous almost instantly, out in some position (no one really covered a particular base or position in these games) as the best glove chewer to come along in years. Besides the peeing and the weeing, this was what most scouts from the “real” little league came to look for and . apparently I was there man.
 So it wasn’t long thereafter that I was given a contract in the minors and sent out to be tested in about every actual position on a baseball diamond. Now mind you, up to this point all my experience with baseball had been mostly in peeing on the field and glove chewing which despite my best efforts did not help one bit with stopping a ball hit at you or a throw needed to stop an advancing runner. As a matter of fact the peeing tended to be a hindrance to both, and the glove chewing may have been the start of a serious gum infection that later claimed one of my best teeth up to that point.
 How these grown men saw any hidden talent in me is beyond comprehension, but they were the experts so I kept at it. And by the time my first season progressed, in spite of my maturing rapidly to the point where I almost never peed on the field during a game. I found out they were right, and I could play this game called little league. And now in the minors, it was no more cement North Ball field, now it was grass and dirt at St Raymond’s, or Ferry Point Park, or St Joe’s. Now hang on cause this is a true story!
 At the end of season one disaster struck as I met a cousin of mine named Johnny. During the season ending picnic and extravaganza we unknowingly, and mistakenly, reached into the wrong cooler. Did I tell you it was accidentally? Well you can see that my lying began at this same point also. From that cooler instead of a cold soda to complement our hot dogs, Johnny, I learned, ate his with ketchup and not mustard, (which should have clued me in to his character at that point) we pulled out an item called a beer. My first encounter with this product proved to be at the same time funny, scary, and, immaturing, (is that a word?) all at once. We laughed a good bit as we began what is called “downing your first one”, became quite frightened when our experience became known by the adult members of our league, and I amazingly peed myself out in the field for the first time in who knows how long.
 After a stern talking to, a good whooping’, some clean drawers, and a short stint in rehab, at the start of the next season I was placed on a minor league team called Daisy Cleaners. Which, when the season got underway we proceeded to break record after record, as we lost every game in the most horrific and embarrassing manner. A season remembered to this very day, in the annuls of Parkchester Little League history, and baseball in general worldwide.
 Hopefully I can stay focused and write the next few stories of my Little League career.
: Kiwanis, B’naiBrith….who are the people and why do they have teams in Parkchester . Little League why I’ve never seen these stores
: A night at the Opera with Hamburger Express,
: Parkchester Management, The first team in the history of Parkchester Little League with a female manager….the almost immortal now, Parkchester Management team that included Johnny W****, Rob Filos (that’s me), Matthew F****, and other less important players. The only team ever that went undefeated in Parkchester Little League History. Including first person accounts of the magical triple play converted that same year!

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